Every now and again a dilemma involving money arises and it can be difficult to handle. One reason could be someone you love owing you money or you only ordered a side dish and you’ve ended up paying for someone else’s main course.
It’s always vital to speak up for yourself in financial situations that make you uncomfortable. You should never feel bad about how you decide to use your money so below are some solutions to 5 possible uncomfortable dilemmas.
1. Paying For What You Ate
Sometimes you’re not hungry when you go out to dinner or you keep your order light to save costs. However when the bill comes someone may recommend “splitting it”. Rather than complaining about it later once you’ve paid or feeling resentful a solution is to bring cash. When you know you’re going to dinner & you don’t want any confusion, bring cash only. Looking at the menu before you get there will prepare you to the put down the exact amount you need to cover yourself.
2. Expensive Activities
We’ve touched on being great friends on different salaries however sometimes it’s not just about different salaries but different spending behaviours. Maybe you have that friend that likes to go fine dining often or they like trying expensive activities. But what about your pockets?
If you want to spend time with your friend but you feel it’s costing you then suggest some activities that suit your budget better. Being the planner of those events means you’ve prepared for the costs and everyone can still have fun.
3. Answering the “How Much Was It?” Question
It could be a laptop or a car or a house. Sometimes when asked “How Much Was It?” it can feel like a very uncomfortable question. How you may want to answer may depend on who you’re talking to, is it family, a friend or an acquaintance?
How you react to a question like this is important as your response will now be used as a benchmark to how you deal with questions surrounding money. “Sarah is a bit funny about money, I asked her once and she got so defensive.” Here’s how to get prepared:
If you’re willing to share: Be as honest as you feel you can be without feeling uneasy. If you know a friend is planning to purchase a house soon then sharing information like “We’ve been saving for about 5 years and we went to the bank with £35,000 as a deposit for a house on the outskirts of London” could be helpful to someone who is looking for some guidelines. Sharing tips and tricks about discounts and deals can really help someone if you’re willing to open up that conversation.
If you’re not willing to share: Let the person know that you’d rather not go into that information. There is nothing wrong with saying that and moving on. Yes, they may feel a little stung by your response but having an uncomfortable financial conversation with someone you’re not comfortable with is much worse.
4. The Person That Owes You Money Hasn’t Used It Wisely
It can be nice to help a person out when they are strapped for cash. However the feeling of helping someone can turn sour when you feel they aren’t using the money wisely. “Check out my new Celine bag!” is not what you want to hear when you are £300 down.
Solution: Unless the borrower has told you specifically what the purpose of the money is for, it’s probably best not to hold judgement. For all you know their new purchase may be a gift and you don’t want to jump to wild conclusions and strain your relationship by making assumptions. If you were told what the money is for then ask them about it. “Were you able to pay off that bill?” See how they react towards your question and you can decide how to handle it from there.
5. You’ve Borrowed A Friend Money & They Haven’t Paid You Back
Borrowing money to a friend can bring testing times to a friendship so think about whether or not that is something you really want to do. When lending a friend money, only give money to a friend then only give an amount that you would be comfortable losing. If you know you need that money back pronto then that isn’t money you should be lending because you never know how the circumstance is going to go once you give that money away irrespective of it being permanently or temporarily.
If you decide to lend the money: Be very honest about how much you’re willing to give out. Just because they request a certain amount of money it doesn’t mean you have to match it. If the amount they ask for is more than you can afford then let them know you can only give a percentage of that. Also, let them know that you need it back by a certain date and ask them what should be done if that date passes. These questions may seem tough to ask but it’s better to get some guidelines down. Reassure them that you don’t want it to get in the way of your friendship.
So the next time you feel like a difficult money situation occurs, remember these tips!
This post was written by Bola