A Review On How to Win Friends and Influence People

I recently bought his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This book because has great principles on meeting new people, talking to them and learning how to keep them engaged in conversation.

The book is sectioned into four parts, each part containing techniques on how to approach that certain topic and at the end of each chapter, he gives a brief principle on that technique.

Here are my top ten favourite principles from the book.
 

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

As an introvert, I thrive on working alone. Dealing with people has never been my strong point, however, it is something I have been working on and have enjoyed improving. This principle talks about the benefits of appreciation and how it affects us. Carnegie pointed out the difference between appreciation and flattery. Be specific about what you like about that person, don’t make it vague. Being generic doesn’t help anyone, I realised this within myself. When someone is specific about what I am doing good in, it makes me like that person for appreciating me and it makes me want to do something good for them. A key point is to be honest. People can tell if you are saying things just to get something from them. It’s like a sixth sense. So, be sincere and honest when giving appreciation.

 

Arouse in a person an eager want.

When I read this principle I was a bit confused by what he meant by that. Then I realised that I see it every day. It’s called marketing. Here is an example: If a new product that you have never seen or heard of before is being marketed and targeted towards your demographic, wouldn’t you want to buy it? Of course! It’s new, no one has it, you didn’t realise how bad you needed it in your life until now. That’s what this principle is about. You are thinking from another persons’ perspective and you are persuading them that what you are offering will benefit them.

 

Smile.

This principle seems effortless and easy but it can actually be hard for many. Being genuinely happy can attract the right people to you. Would you want to help or give something to someone who always looks like they are scowling? I certainly wouldn’t. His principle was so basic but can go a long way.

This principle seems effortless and easy but it can actually be hard for many. Being genuinely happy can attract the right people to you. Would you want to help or give something to someone who always looks like they are scowling? I certainly wouldn’t. His principle was so basic but can go a long way.

 

Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

This was a big yes for me. With my name being Linsey, it’s very rare to find different pronunciations but there are different ways of spelling it. I know for myself that either forgetting my name and calling me something else or even misspelling it (despite the fact that if I have given you the spelling already) irritates me. It shows lack of care. Many say that they are bad at remembering names but even going so far as making the effort to do so shows attentiveness and interest in the other person.

This was a big yes for me. With my name being Linsey, it’s very rare to find different pronunciations but there are different ways of spelling it. I know for myself that either forgetting my name and calling me something else or even misspelling it (despite the fact that if I have given you the spelling already) irritates me. It shows a lack of care. Many say that they are bad at remembering names but even going so far as making the effort to do so shows attentiveness and interest in the other person.

Click here for a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

It is better to avoid an argument than to continue it. This is the same as the principle Carnegie gave. It is better to listen to the person first before giving your view. Sometimes remaining quiet in certain situations will help you understand the person better and can help you make wiser decisions. I really liked this principle because it spoke to me. When I sense an argument coming up based on what another person is saying, my first instinct is to defend myself and to put my own point across. But this is not right, nine times out of ten, the argument gets much worse and we can never take back what is said. So, it is wiser to listen & understand first.

 

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Pride sometimes gets the best of us. Particularly when we are in the wrong, it can be hard to admit. This section of the book emphasises the importance of being humble. Furthermore, by you admitting you are wrong the other person is more forgiving and will notice your character.

 

Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

Nobody likes to be criticised for their actions and definitely not in front of everyone. Carnegie gave a great tip on giving indirect criticism that will not sound like an insult. If you have a criticism replace the word “but” with “and”, it will sound sincere, and the individual will most likely take your criticism on board. This technique can help individual hear the compliment and the constructive criticism without taking offence to it.

 

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Being micro-managed isn’t always our favourite pass time so in order to avoid others feeling that way about you, try and offer suggestions and encourage them to see the importance of their contribution. That way they will feel like you trust them more and it will make them feel important.

 

Click here for a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People

 

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

It isn’t great when you have made a mistake and another person rubs it in. It can be quite discouraging. Encouragement is always a great way to reduce the fault of another person. Let the other person know that you have faith in them and you know that they can do it. A little encouragement can go a long way.

 

Make other people happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Lastly, a great way to get people to do what you suggest is to give them the benefits of helping you. It’s like the phrase “I scratch your back, you scratch mine.” Showing that there could be an advantage for the other person in helping you may lead them to want to help you more because they are getting something out of it.
These are my top ten principles from the book, but there are plenty more inside the book. This book is also good for entrepreneurs because it can increase one’s business etiquette and it helps individuals who want to work on their networking. If you are looking for a new read, you’ll enjoy this book.

Click here for a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People

Have you read the book? If so what is your favourite principle?

This post was written by Linsey.

We are an independent social enterprise created to help women make their money work for them. If you enjoy what we do and would like to support our growth, please donate here.

THIS POST MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS.
Read our disclaimer and privacy policy here for more info.

Leave a Reply